Are you and your ex struggling to navigate “co-parenting”? Our
Irvine divorce lawyers share three common co-parenting problems and how you can resolve them.
Three Common Co-Parenting Problems & Solutions:
Different Parenting Styles
Parenting is difficult, especially when you and your ex-spouse don’t
see eye-to-eye on parental tactics. Maybe you like to have an orderly
and rule-driven regimen, but your ex prefers a laid back approach. It
can be infuriating when it feels like your ex is undermining all the hard
work and structure you have put into raising your children.
The Solution: Put the important stuff in the divorce agreement. If bedtimes, homework
schedules, or rules for punishments are important to you, make sure they
are discussed and agreed upon during the divorce process. By putting them
into your divorce agreement, you and your ex will be more bound to the
boundaries you have created.
Worrying about Your Children When They are In Your Ex’s Custody
What do you do if letting your children out of your custody is extremely
difficult? If the court granted your ex custody/joint-custody of your
children (whether you agreed or didn’t), it can still be emotionally
taxing to share or give custody to someone else. Even though the court
only grants custody if it is in the child’s best interest, what
do you do if the idea of your spouse having custody freaks you out?
The Solution: If your trust issues of your ex are unwarranted (i.e. he or she has never
harmed you or your children, exemplified aggressive or abusive behavior,
etc.), then you need to work on controlling and understanding your feelings.
Freaking out over the safety of your child without a real reason for panic
can be incredibly harmful to the relationship between your children and
their parent. Find a way to let some of your apprehension go, either through
an outlet, meditation, or even therapy.
Emotional Issues are Driving Your Co-Parenting
Divorce is an emotionally charged event, and it can be difficult to put
it behind you. Letting your emotions drive your decisions or how you approach
co-parenting can also be a major issue. How do you move on and work with
your ex, when there is so much history and tension there?
The Solution: When trying to bury the hatchet focus on your actions and words. The truth
is, you don’t have to like or be friends with your ex. What matters
is that you can communicate enough to provide a united front for your
children. Make sure you don’t speak poorly about your ex in front
of your children and co-operate enough to manage parenting successfully.
For more divorce help and solutions,
turn to the Center for Mediated Divorce today.