There is a better way than the a famous War of the Roses move script. Which
portrayed the worst of the worst divorces. Even the nicest people can
get caught up in the litigation trap and become different people, people
who play games, people who look for ways to embarrass the other person
or to get revenge against the other person, people who look for ways to
win the war. It’s a good place to avoid.
Your children won’t have to decide who to invite to the wedding.
Too many couples put their children in the position of choosing between
parents. Which parent to invite to their football games, which parent
to celebrate holidays with, which parent to take to parents’ day
at school, which parent to love. What a burden to place on children, they
should be free from such negative activity.
When litigation really heats up, dirty laundry is spilled all over the
place. Things are said and done which can never be un-done. Scars are
etched in family members minds that can never be forgotten. Dirty laundry
should just be kept in the bag.
You get to tell the judge to leave you alone, and she has to do it. In
litigated cases there are specific schedules that must be followed, specific
dates when discovery is required, when hearings must be held and so forth.
In a peaceful divorce, the clients set the schedule. The judge has to
wait and be governed by the client’s schedule. They are not forced
to complete aspects of the divorce until they are ready to do so. The
power is in the hands of the clients.
Litigation jeopardy is just too unpredictable. It’s like playing
Russian Roulette, you pay your money and take your chances. This is never
a way to predict the outcome of a litigated case. The results are often
not what either party would have chosen, but they are now bound by a decision
of a third-party outsider.
Atticus Finch was the famous lawyer in To Kill a Mockingbird, and he fought
for fairness and justice against all odds. Atticus would have supported
a peaceful divorce process where the assets and debts are divided fairly
and equitably and where the parents draft the parenting plan that is best
for the children. He fought for the greater good.
Peaceful divorces help preserve relationships after the divorce with extended
family at graduations, weddings, christenings, bat mitzvahs and on and
on. Peaceful divorces also help preserve relationships after the divorce
with the children and grandchildren, at sporting events, scouts, school
plays, recitals and on and on.
One size does not fit all. People are different; situations are different.
People should be able to make decisions based upon what is best for each
of them and for their children.
Peaceful divorces help promote healthy communication after the divorce.
How many people do you know who could not even carry on a simply, sane
conversation with an ex-spouse especially when children are involved?
It is important to be able to talk about issues concerning them. When
there are no children there are often family member who want to continue
to have a relationship with both parties. A peaceful divorce makes that possible.
Perhaps one of the most important reasons to choose a peaceful divorce
is reason number one: Money doesn’t grow on trees. What sense is
there in spending hard-earned money chasing information that can be shared
voluntarily? What sense is there in paying attorneys to doing your talking
and your negotiating, when you can sit down together with the help of
peaceful attorneys, you can discuss solutions that both of you can support.
What sense is there in spending your hard-earned money going to court
only to sit around in court to wait until your turn to be heard by the
judge. Money doesn’t grow on trees. Save what you have for more