We all have been in a situation when we feel like sharing a something that
was incredibly frustrating. Whether it’s because of a boss who yelled
at us or a friend who was insensitive towards your feelings, many people
use “venting” to blow off some steam and feel better. But
can venting actually make you feel worse? Recent studies show that its
effects may not be as accurate as we perceive them to be and instead of
feeling a release we only feel more aggressive towards a person or situation.
Plus, in today’s technologically advanced world, venting can have
even more consequences than just emotional ones. Our experienced divorce
attorney shares how venting might not be the best solution for you, especially
if it affects your divorce.
Social Media Can Create Major Problems
In the past, venting would require face-to-face contact or a call over
the phone. Time could pass before you were able to unload your frustrations
about something. Nowadays, an individual can share their anger with everyone
with just one post.
There are many reasons to want to vent on social media, such as:
It’s fast. We can share our frustration with our friends and family almost instantly
It’s convenient. We can vent from anywhere, as long as we are by a phone
It feels safe. It’s easy to say anything from behind a screen
But venting on social media can have a negative impact. The access we have
to posting can result in quick posts that were not thought out beforehand.
The anonymity we feel when we are behind a screen makes us say things
that we may not have said directly to the person that it is about. Plus,
the biggest rule about the internet is still true in regards to venting—what
is said online is there forever!
How Does This Affect My Divorce?
During a divorce process, especially one that is riddled with disagreements,
it can be tempting to vent on social media to try to rally some support
from loved ones. But you should always think before you post! Recent studies
have indicated that venting doesn’t actually make us feel better
(even though it might feel that way at first). Studies indicate that venting
can actually make you angrier and more aggressive. Also, what you say
can be used against you. You shouldn’t give any reason for a judge
to not side with you.
Instead of venting, try one of these techniques to cool down:
- Count to 10—or even 100 to be safe—before reacting
- Type up what you would say and then delete it without posting
- Turn off your phone until you are no longer angry
- Try to observe the situation that made you frustrated as an uninvolved
- Do something calming, like listening to soft music or doing something you love
Demonstrating restraint when you want to vent can make you a calmer and
more tolerant person. It is better for you and for the people around you.
If you are going through a divorce and would like the process to be as
compliant as possible,
contact the Center for Mediated Divorce and speak with our Irvine divorce attorney!
To learn more about social media and venting, read this
Wall Street Journal article!