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Venting Can Actually Be Unhealthy

Posted By Center for Mediated Divorce || 1-Sep-2015

We all have been in a situation when we feel like sharing a something that was incredibly frustrating. Whether it’s because of a boss who yelled at us or a friend who was insensitive towards your feelings, many people use “venting” to blow off some steam and feel better. But can venting actually make you feel worse? Recent studies show that its effects may not be as accurate as we perceive them to be and instead of feeling a release we only feel more aggressive towards a person or situation. Plus, in today’s technologically advanced world, venting can have even more consequences than just emotional ones. Our experienced divorce attorney shares how venting might not be the best solution for you, especially if it affects your divorce.

Social Media Can Create Major Problems

In the past, venting would require face-to-face contact or a call over the phone. Time could pass before you were able to unload your frustrations about something. Nowadays, an individual can share their anger with everyone with just one post.

There are many reasons to want to vent on social media, such as:

  • It’s fast. We can share our frustration with our friends and family almost instantly
  • It’s convenient. We can vent from anywhere, as long as we are by a phone
  • It feels safe. It’s easy to say anything from behind a screen

But venting on social media can have a negative impact. The access we have to posting can result in quick posts that were not thought out beforehand. The anonymity we feel when we are behind a screen makes us say things that we may not have said directly to the person that it is about. Plus, the biggest rule about the internet is still true in regards to venting—what is said online is there forever!

How Does This Affect My Divorce?

During a divorce process, especially one that is riddled with disagreements, it can be tempting to vent on social media to try to rally some support from loved ones. But you should always think before you post! Recent studies have indicated that venting doesn’t actually make us feel better (even though it might feel that way at first). Studies indicate that venting can actually make you angrier and more aggressive. Also, what you say can be used against you. You shouldn’t give any reason for a judge to not side with you.

Instead of venting, try one of these techniques to cool down:

  • Count to 10—or even 100 to be safe—before reacting
  • Type up what you would say and then delete it without posting
  • Turn off your phone until you are no longer angry
  • Try to observe the situation that made you frustrated as an uninvolved third-party
  • Do something calming, like listening to soft music or doing something you love

Demonstrating restraint when you want to vent can make you a calmer and more tolerant person. It is better for you and for the people around you. If you are going through a divorce and would like the process to be as compliant as possible, contact the Center for Mediated Divorce and speak with our Irvine divorce attorney!

To learn more about social media and venting, read this Wall Street Journal article!

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